Do I Love in Deed or Just Words?

This question has been bothering me and has caused me to think through some issues and to give my love capacity a heart check.

A current social trend is causing me some concern. That trend is that it is becoming more acceptable for someone to identify oneself as preferring a same-sex partner. We have different labels for both men and women.

My concern is not about someone else's decision and choice; it is my problem with how I think and can I love that person without judgment.

I now know several people who have made this choice. Some are open about it, some hide it, and some fight about it.

In Christian circles, there seems to be an attitude of judgment, shame, and exclusion. I can even say that it seems to be one of hate. Isn't that an oxymoron? Christian people hating and not loving some who have made a choice that disagrees with their belief system.

I have interaction with many who are not in Christian circles. Some of the comments I hear them say are: Who cares? What business is it of mine what another person chooses in that area? That's not for me, but I respect someone who makes that choice. And other comments that don't seem to have a sense of judgment about them.

Someone asked me a few years ago if I still believed the Bible. What prompted that question was that I was not so judgmental any more and not so OCD about my interpretation of certain scriptures. My answer was that of course I do, but I have changed my opinion about what I believe the scriptures are saying. My emphasis now is on the person and showing grace and love while still holding truth in my beliefs.

I'm startled that same-sex preference people say that the group of people who are the most hateful and the least accepting of them are Christians. What an indictment against us! It makes me think of what the Pharisees said of Jesus that he associated with those who were not acceptable to them. The very righteous, judgmental people of Jesus' day were astonished that He would show love and acceptance to the ones who were living contrary to their religious beliefs.

I love the statement, "They will know we are Christians by our love." Isn't that the first thing we should be concerned about? Not a wishy-washy love that has no grace and truth, but a genuine love and acceptance of the person even if that person doesn't believe like I do.

I want to write about this in the next few posts on this blog.
I welcome your comments.
MB

Friend in Haiti

Our friends, Rex and Sherry Holt, pastor a church in Southern CA. In past years they were SBC missionaries to Togo West Africa, where they speak French. Rex was asked to go with a medical team to Haiti. The team left last Saturday morning. Yesterday, Tuesday, Rex called Sherry from Haiti and Sherry wrote about it in their daily church letter to members, to which I subscribe. It's an excellent recounting of what Rex is experiencing in Haiti.

January 26, 2010

About 6:30 p.m., I got a call from Rex. Joe Hall was standing in the kitchen with me so I put the phone on speaker. I wish so much that I had a recording of it. He talked fast to try to tell everything he could since he had borrowed the phone from his tent-mate. A Haitian by birth, his tent-mate Julio moved to Florida a number of years ago and has been pastoring a church there. Since this terrible disaster in his homeland, he has returned home to Haiti to stay, leaving behind the church he pastored in Florida and everything that he had accumulated materially. His wife Suzette will join him this weekend and they will begin life again in Haiti.

Rex loves him and said they both agree that the Lord meant for them to spend these days together. Most of the tents are large enough to accommodate 4 or 5 persons, but Rex and Julio got the smallest tent and there is only room for the two of them. They pray together--sometimes in English and sometimes in French or they sing together--sometimes in English, sometimes in French. Rex says that he feels so at home in Haiti, because there are so many similarities to living in West Africa.

He spoke of the devastation being hard to conceive, walking in a city, block after block where buildings are leveled on both sides of the street. As he walks around, he engages practically everyone he passes in conversation and they all speak of having lost loved ones. Their only requests are for water and food. He told of two examples of children asking for food at the orphanage where their tent is set up. The volunteers have been instructed not to give away food or water but to respond that they came with medical supplies. This is a tough thing to do, but necessary to keep a riot from breaking out because so many people are thirsty and hungry.

He told about a young man who came up to him and said, "I am hungry.” So Rex gave the pat response, “We came with medical supplies.” The boy turned away but another boy came up to Rex and asked, “Did you see him, did you really see him?” He assured this second young boy that certainly he had seen the boy and heard his request. But then the young boy challenged him again, “but didn't you see in his eyes…he is starving.”

Hidden in Rex's pocket was a protein bar that he had brought in his week's supply of food and he wanted to give the child food. However, there were many people around and he knew that it would be chaotic. People would stampede toward him to get food, and he only had that one protein bar. Later, he was happy to see the boy alone who had challenged him about seeing the boy who was starving, and he quietly gave him the protein bar and told him to divide it 2 ways and give that boy the other half. The young boy said, “No, I will give him all of it.” Rex was skeptical that would happen, but a short time later the starving boy approached Rex with the entire bar and humbly thanked him.

That wasn't the only time he saw the children act in this unselfish way. There was a young girl standing nearby when he started eating from his meal supply, a package of peanut butter and crackers. He took out one of the crackers and gave to the little girl. As soon as she had taken it, she called the name of a young boy. He came to her and she divided the peanut butter cracker in half and shared with him. At that point, Rex gave the little girl the entire package, knowing that she would share it.

He would interject from time to time that he was so glad that he was there or that it was just great being there, so I finally got a chance to talk and asked if he was even going to come home. To that he started telling a little about how difficult the living situation is. But, he didn't dwell on that long. There was so much to share. For instance, there was a team member in their group who prayed for a blind man...at first he saw a bright light, they prayed again, he saw the shadows of people, they prayed again, he counted fingers of the man who held them up in front of him. Then Rex prayed for a deaf man. After the prayer he walked some distance behind the man so that he could not see him. He instructed the man to clap each time he heard a clap. He responded perfectly because the formerly deaf man HEARD Rex clapping his hands.

Finally he slowed down a little and explained that he had used too many of Julio's phone minutes and had to get off the phone. At that point I got the chance to say, “Happy Birthday Honey, or had you forgotten that it is your birthday?”

Well, he was quiet for a few seconds and he said with astonishment, “Is today the 26th?” And I assured him that it was. He had forgotten that today was his birthday. He closed out his conversation by saying with deep conviction, “We have to come back!!! Others from among us have to come and help.”

I wish everyone of you could have heard him...but you will soon. He won't be back at church on Sunday morning but should arrive back in S. California sometime later in the day on Sunday. Rex kept saying how he could feel so strongly the Lord's presence even amid the devastation and human suffering. Somehow, hearing about hungry children sharing, a blind man seeing, a deaf man hearing...affirmed why Rex feels so strongly the Lord's presence in Port au Prince and why even under such terrible conditions that he could be so joyful..."IN HIS PRESENCE IS FULLNESS OF JOY!!!"

Sherry

Right or Wrong?

Beginning a new year causes me to reflect a lot. Lately I've been thinking about how much I've changed over the years.

I was raised close to my grandparents. They visited a lot and then lived on our property in a house back of us to help their daughter, my Mom, with raising her eleven children. My Dad traveled, and they apparently thought my Mom needed help. And they helped a lot. They raised chickens, milked cows, raised calves for beef, and pigs for meat. We also had a large garden we all worked in. My grandparents were very much a part of my growing up years.

My grandfather used to tell me that "blacks" did not have souls. That was my upbringing. Do you know how hard it is to change that thinking? I'm glad to report that I have made a total turnaround from that kind of terrible prejudicial old South thinking. Someone's nationality or race is to me now sort of like what color of eyes or hair does someone have. What does it matter? I look back now and shudder at how odd and full of hate that whole prejudice thing is and was. Totally wrong, totally bad.

Something else that's trivial compared to prejudice (which is horrible, especially when passed down) that I've changed about is that my parents taught us that it was wrong to dance. I took a strong "Christian" stand against dancing. I was a cheerleader and even, shock of all shocks, was voted Miss EHS (Edmond HS). It was hard to not dance when your sponsors and teachers would encourage you to at all the mixers and get-togethers. But I was a "good girl"!!

A few years ago I started clogging. I love it! Then as I reflected on things, I got a little angry (funny angry) at being taught that dancing was wrong. I'm not very good at it, but I love it!! Think of all the fun things I've missed over the years by thinking that dancing was wrong. I even tried to shame and guilt my own kids into not dancing. Can you believe it? Hard for me to believe now, but that's what happened.

Another odd no-no was that I should not go to movies. My Dad said to me one time, "What if Jesus returned while you were at the show?" When I started dating and going to drive-in movies, I would often look over my shoulder at the sky and hope that Jesus wouldn't return because I was sure He would be ashamed of my being at the movies. Huh? That is so funny to me now. I'm a "movie" person. I love movies, especially good movies, especially real-story movies. Think of all I missed thinking and being taught that it was "sin" to go to the movies. :-(

As I married and became a pastor's wife in the sixties, it was the teaching in our circles that it was definitely wrong for women to wear pants to church. I could even find some scriptures that seemed to say that. (Notice: seemed to say) Now, I wear pants all the time. It even feels funny to wear a dress, which I rarely do. Hmmm... I've really changed my thinking on this also.

I've been thinking recently about some of these things I've been pretty strong on in my beliefs in the past. Now I'm either changed or definitely questioning. It helps me to go back and realize how much my beliefs and thinking have changed over the years and where I am now.

I always want to be teachable and open and learning. It makes me wonder like the Cox commercial, "Wonder what else I don't know?" What other beliefs and thoughts do I have and hold to that need to be re-thought and considered in my understanding of grace as taught in the scriptures.

I'm on a quest! I want to know!!
I'll keep you posted.
MB

Who Told Me?

Back, way back, at the end of October, I wrote on this blog that there were three things I would like to write about: dishonesty, "God told me," and negative testimonies. I've written about dishonesty and negative or balanced testimonies. Two months later and only two blogs later, I want to write my thoughts about the phrase, "God told me."

I could say, "God told me to write this blog." I prefer to say, "I've been thinking about what to write and I think now is the time."

A pastor in our area, wrote this comment on one of my previous blogs: Your post made me think of a recent experience with my oldest son which is along the same lines as your frustration. (He) recently told me about his former small group leader who went to a Slavic country this summer because "God told him to go". He was going to work with alchoholic guys on the street and planned on staying for a couple of years as "led by God". He was back in less than one month after experiencing the extreme discomfort. He now was saying that it was "God's will" for him to be in Colorado. (My son's) comment to me was: "Dad, next he is going to say that God wants him to get an XBox."

Perfect example of what I'm talking about!

Why do believers say, "God told me"? It's been my experience that often it seems that some people say this to lend veracity to what they're saying. Years ago there was a young man in our church who kept saying that God told him he was going to marry one of the young ladies in our church. She, however, did not have that same message from God. The young man insisted to the point of harassment. Truth be known, that young man just wanted to marry that young woman and was attracted to her. Thank goodness, she didn't believe the nonsense that God told him he was going to marry her.

Other examples I've had is to be in prayer groups or church leadership meetings and someone will propose something and introduce it with the phrase, "God told me" we are to do so and so. I've noticed how that kills all discussion. What can you say if you happen to disagree with the proposal without in essence calling that person a liar or to call into doubt their "message from God"?

My supreme or change-point experience was with a man who impressed me tremendously by telling of his life and ministry and saying he was in constant touch with God, even about little things like which way to turn on a road and what to wear for the day. He had life-saving experiences and testimonies and books. I was so impressed and so wanted to have that type of close relationship with God. However... !! When he left his wife and six children, one who is handicapped, to travel with and live with a younger, model-type woman, and was still proclaiming "God told me," was when I decided something's off here. That may have been the life-changing experience for me. I was so disillusioned and felt betrayed. I began to question all of this extra ordinary sharing of God's special leading to certain special individuals.

Saying so strongly "God told me" has definitely become one of my pet peeves. When I'm listening to a preacher who says that, I almost have to turn him off or get away. I experience anger that "God's shepherds" or pastors or leaders of people would use their position and this phrase to try to make people believe that they have a "hotline" to God. I do not believe that anyone has special privileges with God. We are all believer priests who can enter into God's presence.

What's wrong with saying something tentative like, "I think God would have me to..."? Or better yet, just saying "I think I would like to..." or "I've prayed about this and my impression is ..."

Preachers often say God is leading me to go to another church. I wish they would say I am going to investigate whether I will go to another church or stay where I am. Funny how going to another church always seems to be a bigger church and probably a better salary, etc. It just seems to me that God gets blamed for a lot of believers' decisions to do what they want to do. Then if it goes well, everyone is sure God led. But if things do not go well, then what? Well, maybe God had some experiences to teach and led in a different direction.

I do believe "all things work together for good." I really do. My discomfort and disagreement is with our trying to make God the decision maker in our lives when we really are. Often this phrase reminds me of the old Flip Wilson phrase, "The devil made me do it." To me it's quite similar. God told me to do it. Really? Hmmmm...

There are many preachers in my family so I do not speak as one distanced from that profession. My favorite type of message or sermon is one where the speaker often says that his belief or opinion is so and so, but encourages the audience or congregation to search the scriptures and come to their own conclusions. Sometimes a speaker will even give several opinions and then encourage listeners to compare scripture with scripture and let the Holy Spirit guide them to their own interpretations. How respectful and encouraging is that?

In conclusion, did God tell me to write this blog? No. Do I want to honor and please God with anything I write? Yes. The reality check is that I wanted to write my thoughts and opinions about this phrase and about people who use it. That's it.

I often wonder what God's response is to phrases like, God led me to... or God told me... If He has a sense of humor, I could speculate some responses. Whatever His response, this will be one of my questions for Him.

As we start a new year, I want to be sensitive to God's leadership and at the same time take complete responsibility for my decisions knowing that God is with me and loves me and will never leave me.
Mary B.

Balanced Testimonies

I started to entitle this post Negative Testimonies, but decided that would be undermining the point I hoped to present.

For years I have experienced some frustration and disappointment when I hear people attempting to give God the glory when something good happened to them. The reason for my negative thoughts? Not because I don't like to hear people thanking God for what he has done for them, but because there are many more people who are believers and who have not experienced the same thing.

Here's an example: Say there's a car accident and only some survived and some died. The survivors might be heard to say, "God was with me, and I lived." That kind of statement bothers me. Are we to think that God was not with the ones who died? Hmm...

Another example: Say a woman's husband leaves her and she prays he will return. He does return and she says that God blessed her and had her husband return. Are we to think that a woman whose husband leaves and she prays and he doesn't return that God was not as good to her as He was to the other woman?

Final example: Say a child is ill. The parents pray and the child is healed. God is good. He healed their child. Another couple has an ill child, they are strong believers, they pray and their child dies. Are we to think that God heard one prayer and blessed and heard the other prayers and didn't bless?

These examples and the resulting attempt to give God the glory sometimes seem to me to do more damage than good. Here's what I mean.

What about in the first example having two people speak about the same experience, one about being a survivor and one about losing a loved one. Cannot both say God is good? Cannot both say God blessed them? Isn't that the God we serve?

Here's what I think is the best biblical example: Peter and James were in jail in the book of Acts. Peter was miraculously released. James was beheaded. The story told in Sunday School and in sermons seems to always be about Peter. But, what about James?

Another biblical example: Peter preached on the day of Pentecost and 3,000 souls were saved. God blessed! A few chapters over Stephen preached, maybe much the same sermon, and he was stoned to death by the religious leaders. Did God bless Stephen? Or...what?

What do we do with these two examples?

And a final point I want to make is the entire chapter in Hebrews 11. This chapter is commonly what is called the Hall of Faith Heroes. The summary towards the end of this chapter in the version, The Message, reads: We have stories of those who were stoned, sawed in two, murdered in cold blood; stories of vagrants wandering the earth in animal skins, homeless, friendless, powerless––the world didn't deserve them!––making their way as best they could on the cruel edges of the world. Not one of these people, even though their lives of faith were exemplary, got their hands on what was promised.

So, now what? I think it's great to give God the glory when someone is healed, when someone survives, when someone returns. But wouldn't it be more biblical, more realistic, more accurate, to always have examples of both types when giving God the glory.

When we have someone passionately speak how God has blessed her because her husband returned, wouldn't it be real and honoring to God to have someone just as passionately speak about how good God is good and has blessed her and that her husband didn't return? Same thing with surviving and with healing.

Doesn't the unbalanced type of testimonies of hearing only positive and good things that have happened leave listening people thinking, well God didn't do that for me so He must not love me as much or He would have blessed me like that. My child died. Where was God? My husband divorced me and married a younger woman. Didn't God hear my prayers? Doesn't God love me?

We should always remember and speak of the balanced teachings in scripture. Where did we get that only good things and blessings happen to those whom God loves and cares for. Terribly misleading and wrong teaching. Would we have as many followers and as large churches if we preached balanced truth? Probably not, but we would have true, God-honoring believers, who really make a difference.

Thoughts to ponder. My opinion only.
MB

Good or Evil?

There are three topics I was thinking about addressing in posts on this blog. The first was dishonesty. The second topic was spurred by Wade's blog post, how people say, "God told me," and how they use that. The third was prompted by a comment on this blog by Bobby about negative testimonies. All three of these are topics I like to wax eloquent on, as eloquent as I can be, which is questionable.

I think I'll tackle the first one right now and save the other two for future posts.

I watched Sixty Minutes on CBS last Sunday evening and saw a Miami man interviewed who said he had robbed the government of $20 million in Medicare payments and then he proceeded to tell how he did it. It was scary to realize there is a whole network of groups who cater to people to help them defraud the government in big ways.

Then I was watching the local morning news and saw a report about how large earth moving machines, large tractors and such, are being stolen and resold for a fraction of the cost. A farmer was interviewed and he said his $60,000 machine was stolen and when it was later found, it had been resold for $800. Drug users are usually the culprits.

Then at work I have been bombarded the last six months with spam e-mail. It seems a virus invaded our work intranet/internet via someone's personal download and despite all the firewalls and security, that worm or virus has invaded every part of our system. I daily get about ten spam e-mails telling me I'm eligible to receive millions because of some wonderful thing I have done. One I received yesterday started out saying how bad it is today how people try to scam others, but for sure this is legitimate. Hmmm...

As I was thinking on these, I'm still astounded at how basically evil human beings are. I'm rather Pollyanna-like wanting to believe that if given a chance, human beings are basically good. That's totally anti-scriptural. I know that. But, still...If you really think on this and take it all in and really listen to things going on around us, it would be much wiser for me if I accepted the fact that if given a chance, human beings as a whole are basically selfish and sinful or evil.

And then when I consider all the stuff I know that has gone on in the organized church, not necessarily the local churches I have belonged to but the bigger organizations, I realize that this basic evil bent permeates anything that human beings are a part of.

SO?

Makes a good case for the need of the true gospel. Isn't this what accepting Christ and living the Spirit-filled life is all about? Isn't this what we are saved from? Doesn't our "new nature" or our "default" change to basically good, as evidenced by our love for others instead of self?

So instead of being cynical about the evil of man, I have excitement and great hope that I (we) have the solution, the Person!
Enough to make us jump for joy. YES! Enough to make me want to spread the "good news."

Wonder if anyone will listen? I think they will only if my life causes them to ask me "a reason for the hope that is in me."
My thoughts.
MB

Payback or Freedom?

Can it be? A month ago was my last blog post? Where does the time go?
Lots has happened, but obviously not blog posting. Think I'll write some thoughts today since I'm off work for Columbus Day.

Yesterday at church we had the privilege of being guests in a different Flock than the one where we're members. (Some of my friends chuckle every time I speak of attending Flock on Sunday. That's our church's version of Sunday School. When teased about being members of a Flock, I respond with something like isn't that what sheep are, members of flocks? Anyway...)

Paul was the guest speaker and the absent leader had earlier told Paul he had been addressing how Christians are changed when becoming believers. That is one of Paul's favorite subjects, and he gave a great talk. There were some questions at the end, and it was a great time of meeting new people, of being in a nice home, and of getting to hear the greatest communicator share.

One of the questions that was asked of Paul was how does or did this new-covenant living vs old-covenant living affect your ministry. The reason the question was asked was explained that a pastor acquaintance who had developed some physical problems was convinced that this was God's payback for his teenage sins.

This reminded me of some of my friends who have what they would call "moral" sins in their past and anything bad that happens to them or theirs later is immediately thought of as God's payback.

Where did we get that notion?

I think we got it from the old covenant or many scriptures in the Old Testament. If you will or if my people will...then I will (God speaking). We live by, we hear preached, and we base our Christian beliefs and living on performance based teachings.

Things like if you have a daily quiet time, God will bless you with a "victorious" day. This type of thinking leads to the opposite that if you don't, for some reason, have a quiet time, then bad things will happen. How sad! Or, if you've done some bad things, you will pay for it the rest of your life with guilt and shame.

Where is the freedom that's promised in the new covenant, in the New Testament? "You shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free." Where is the living by the new laws that Christ gave? Love the Lord your God and love your neighbor as yourself and in doing that you will fulfill all the law. Doesn't that just smack of freedom and grace?

I hear comments like yesterday, and I long to "set people free" in the freedom that Christ bought and paid for in full. By accepting his offer of grace and love and freedom, we have changed lives set free to love others.

Isn't that the true Gospel?

Is that our main teaching to new Christians? Or, is it what they need to "do" in order to live out their new life in Christ? No wonder people are not being drawn to our message.
Just some thoughts.
MB