Saturday, July 19, 2008

Truth or Consequences

Remember that old TV show that broadcast out of New Mexico? That title reminds me of what I wanted to title this post, Changes and Consequences. Thought the old TV title might "grab" you.

Paul has been writing on his blog, vtmbottomline, about his old school/new school thinking on some subjects. One subject is the role of women in the church.

My reality check for today is to say I so agree with him and what he is saying. It's been a lifetime for me of coming to this viewpoint. I'm definitely an egalitarian. And I apply my way of thinking to every area of my life, not just the church.

In the past I've taught the total opposite and was all caught up in roles and a certain legalistic interpretation of scripture. I would often proof-text some verses, and in hindsight I see that I was making that verse say what I needed it to say.

I became aware of this change-point in my life when Paul had his first heart attack and bypass surgery. It was a scary time. I had built my life so much around him and "under" him that I remember that first night at the hospital thinking that if he died, half of me would be in the grave. What would I do? 

Although as I look back now, this change had started many years before this hospital stay. I just wasn't as aware of what was happening, and it became very clear at that point.

That whole thought process of being dependent seemed to be so wrong, and it started my serious thinking about what I had believed, accepted, and taught. Nothing like a near-death experience to wake you up or make you aware of how much you, yourself, are changing and have changed.

From that point I became aware of changes I was already making in varying degrees:
  • Thinking for myself
  • Making my own decisions
  • Taking much more responsibility for my own life
  • Quit blaming him for my problems
  • Changing many of my ways of thinking and acting
As I have the time and opportunity, I plan to write more posts on some of my experiences and how some of these changes came about and the consequences resulting from the changes.

That's all for now.
MB

3 comments:

debbiekaufman said...

I'm having a hard time letting the word "egaltarian" come out of my mouth, but I'm probably closer to it than I want to admit. Saying Baptist and egaltarian in the same breath is dangerous. But I've been in the danger zone before haven't I. :)

The points you made are right on, and what we do tend to do, such as blame our husband for our problems. That is #1 with me.

I also have seen women whose husbands have died suddenly or left them and they didn't know quite what to do as the husband had done everything except raise the kids, all their lives. Many went back to school,many in their 60's and ended up learning the hard way what you are saying here.

This is all something I'm working through, changing the tape so to speak. I can't wait for the next installments.

Mary Burleson said...

Debbie,
You are such an encouragement. Thanks for writing. I've been in Vegas for a week at a business meeting. That's an interesting place, and a great subject to explore and write about at another time. These days are quite busy. I hope to post again soon.
MB

Alyce Faulkner said...

Ladies, I'm not embarrassed to say it, I'm embarrassed that I can't spell it, so let's just say I ARE one :)

Mary, i noticed you mentioned, "I agree" completely.
What a blessing it is to have grown together with our husbands. I know what Mackey thinks, what he is going to say and I too can FINALLY say, " I agree with him completely.

Hope you can come with Paul to visit.
Blessings to you both.
Alyce