Sunday, January 20, 2008
Guarantee #6: Promise of a Mate
The sixth guarantee that I listed on a previous blog was "God told me that she will be my wife." I'm addressing each one of these supposed guarantees in separate postings.
We've had this situation many times throughout our years of ministry. One particular situation became problematic. The young man had heard others give testimony to the fact that God told them who their mate would be and it happened.
He just knew that he had heard from God about who his wife would be. He told her. She had not had the same word from God, and let him know emphatically that wasn't going to happen.
He became obnoxious and somewhat of a pest to the young woman. The whole situation ended up in a counselor's office. In fact, the young man had to be told very clearly by others that he needed to back off and give it up. He did, and later moved and met someone else and married and now has a family.
Years later we had a similar situation where a young lady married her sweetheart and they went on an extended honeymoon. She had previously been stalked by a young man who insisted God told him that she was to be his. There was a very tragic ending to this story, great pain for all involved.
Where do young people get this idea, that God has promised them who their mate will be? Could it be that in our zeal to tell and show how God has led us and promised to be with us and give us good things that we inadvertently give the message that God promises things like this and if we just claim the promises and faith it, the guarantee is there that it will happen?
Again, I would challenge each of us to find in the scriptures anywhere that anything like this is even hinted at, much less promised. Some might say the promise was personal and spoken to the heart by God. Might be. But, sharing that as a teaching or as a promise for others to pick up and claim as a promise becomes a stumbling block to others.
I've also counseled women who say that they missed God when they married their husband, and many have suffered their entire married lives thinking they are outside the will of God. Sometimes I marvel at how far afield we get from the actual gospel and what's written in the scriptures. I enjoy trying to bring women back to actual truth and reality.
Reality check: My calling and my assignment is to be a godly person and a godly mate, be it husband or wife. (I reread that and laughed and wanted you to know that I've never thought I was called to be a godly husband, just a wife.) We can sure mess ourselves up by listening to well meaning testimonies and trying to apply those principles in our lives rather than searching the scriptures as Bereans whether these things are so.